Dialog Master, Exam dan Joe Brooks Superman

Hi Guys,
Assalamualaikum.

"if i could be your superman, I'd fly you to the stars and back again." superman by joe brooks.

Hmm..xberapa ade mende nk ckp. Tp rse mcm perlu menulis dengan cara yg plg bajet hot skali. sy risau. kerisauan yg melampau ni menyebabkan sy rase nk tampar diri sy berkali kali dengan mengatakan bahawa

"cik fatin anggun, anda xperlu risau. org anggun xboleh risau."

malangnya sy bukanlah anggun, maka sy harus risau. Hmmmmmmmmmm..ehemmm..okay, tekak dh kering..sy start jela cerita..

Akak JPA yg mempunyai mata yg cun (AJYMMYC) : Ye dik, kenapa ya?
Fatin Anggun (FA) : Hmm..sy dh dpt unconditional offer dr KCL..
AJYMMYC : okay, bagus, alhamdulillah. adik dpt course ape ye?
FA : hmmm...ASE..
AJYMMYC : okay, tgk letter..

setelah dia membelek seikhlas hati, dia pandang sy dengan mata dia yg cun,

AJYMMYC : sebenarnye cani dik, starting 11 Nov 2011, JPA dh listkn top 50 world ranking university ikut subject/area of interest. kalau xde dlm senrai ni, kitorg xdpt nk process that application. so, mcm course ASE ni, dlm physical science, and KCL xde dlm Pysical science list. its either u tukar course to health sc/social sc. tp nk tukar course msti ssh an..so, cube adik try apply uni lain..dlm physical sc..adik pny cg bpe eh?
FA : hmm..3++..
AJYMMYC : tggi result adik tu..cube try apply cambridge ke, oxford ke klau nk g uk...
FA : sambil menjerit sy berkata:

"haaa? akak, akak rase2 sng ke nk apply msuk uni tu? sy xrase sy boleh nk apply uni tu..terlalu sukar..sukar gile2..mmg xla kaannnnn"

okay, sy menjerit dlm hati jela...xdela jerit dpn die..mau trus xdpt scholar...lgpun, sy kn anggun..

pastu, sy pndg ibu. ibu pandang sy blik.
sy pndg ibu blik. ibu pndg sy blik.
sy pndg ibu lg. ibu pndg sy blik lg.
sy pndg ibu sekali lg. ibu dh xpndg sy blik.

tandanya, ibu nk suh sy applyla tu..:(..ibu...susah bu..(sy berkata dlm hati)..

lepas berpandang pandang dengan ibu, ibu berpandang2 dgn AJYMMYC.. pastu ibu pun bersuara...

Ibu kepada Fatin Anggun (IKFA) : ouh, jap dik..ni sy nmpk ade edin dlm list physical sc, so, mcm FA, die dh dpt from edin, tp conditional utk AI. kire, bolehla kan nk apply scholar..
AJYMMYC : hmm..boleh auntie..

(aku dh senyum habis anggun dh tyme ni..rse nk lompat2 peluk ibu..)

AJYMMYC : tp kn auntie, rugila...knapa auntie xtry apply dlu uni camb n ox tu..rugi, sbb die ade chances besar nk g situ..n klau dpt sne, i.Allah sng trus dpt scholar..
IKFA : ouh, yeke?


pastu, sy pndg ibu. ibu pandang sy blik.
sy pndg ibu blik. ibu pndg sy blik.
sy pndg ibu lg. ibu pndg sy blik lg.
sy pndg ibu sekali lg. ibu dh xpndg sy blik.

(mase tyme ni, sy dh rse nk cabut mata cun akak tu..nk nanges pon ade..dh bergenang2 dh..smbil ckp dlm hati..."akak, sshla kak...sy xtahu cambane nk terang kat akak..susah..sy ni dala low self esteem...:'(" )

IKFA : oh, klau mcm tu, xpela..kite try jela sume dlu ya..i.Allah, ade rezeki, adela ya.
AJYMMYC : betul tu auntie..kite cube, n lg satu, nnt bile dh msuk april, cube adik try apply agung pny scholar..yg tu akn dpt lebih byk berbanding JPA.. tp yg tu kne lalu several stage of interviewla..tp mesti boleh pny, adik pnye result, n kk sume okay..try ya..
FA : okay kak, nnt sy cube ye..(dlm hati.."hish, ssh kot..xrase lgsg sng....:'( " xpela...iyekn jela..akak ni, naseb cun..sejuk sket mate memandang walaupun dh rse emo2..)
AJYMMYC : okay, nnt lpas dh dpt sume, adik trus apply je ye, dtg cni, hntr borg k..nnt cptlah ktorg process..
FA : baik kak, terima kasih byk2 ye kak..

sy senyum, dn berlalu dgn penuh keanggunan bersama ibu.......

maka, seperti biasa, mlm tu KZ call dr UK..

KZ : so, hows ur application? scholar?
FA : not so good..need to re-apply for listed uni, ranked by times, approved by jpa.
KZ : so how?
FA : i need to apply for camb n ox as well. Others dh apply, i need to apply but the pin number, 50 pounds... (suara dh serak2, menahan air mata..bergenang..)
KZ : okay, never mind, i'll buy that pin number for u. thought i can buy another lacoste shoes with that money..(dgn nada bergurau..)..
FA : ha ha ha..(gelak xikhlas)
KZ : okay, sensed something. what's wrong?
FA : it's not about money. ibu pon dh offer nk byrkn the pin number. nothing to do with money. the problem, my problem now is, i don't think i cn make it. u know, it's hard. damn hard. confirm i cannot make it. it's not easy. i even have to go through vid conference for interview, u know..it's hard..so hard..(n manyaklah lg perkataan yg keluar yg mksud die sme je sbnrnye..maksud sebenar susah..)...


setelah 30 minit ckp mende yg sama, yg membawa maksud susah...KZ yg diam ibarat bestfriend yg sgt memahami, bersuara dgn tegasnya...

KZ : stop over there. u don't have to explain how hard it is. dala asek ulang je..ayt je lain, maksud sme jgak. u xpernah lg rse susah. please have a little bit confident in urself. u xpernah ade confident in urself. dr dulu lg. everytime exam, everytime keluar dwn exam, nanges giile2..kate xboleh buat, careless here and there..nk mkn pon xlalu, nk ckp pon smpai xkeluar suara..menangis nonstop smpai xleh nk fokus paper laen..at the end, bile kuar result, power je. have a little bit confident in urself. nothing in this world is easy. sume ssh, u have to try then bru u know how hard it is, whether u cn actually have the chance to get it. ni xtry lg dh ckp ssh, dh nk giveup.
FA : yes, org tahu..tp ni lain, ni seriously ssh..
KZ : klau ssh, then xpayah buat. xpyh apply. xpyh smbg blaja. u work over there forever. xyah study.

okay, time ni dh nanges gile2..xde dh sebak2..KZ xpernah mrh okay..okay, pernahla..2 kali je kot spnjg 3thun setengah bestfriend ngan die..

KZ : u have to try. the fear is just like wind. jgnla duk sebut takut2..mende tu ur illusion je..if u takut, then study for the exam, for the entry requirement exam. go study. jgn asek kate takut, but u do nothing. sme mcm novel yg org bg, dh 3 years, n u haven't finish that novel yet. no more procrastination. go study. go du'a. go pray to Allah. He will always be there for u. u never know what's the best for u. klau dh Allah kata, ur goin to study here, i.Allah, Allah akn permudahkan. tp klau dh Allah kate no fatin, u go study at MY, then, u buat cmne pon, ur belong there. but first, u have to try as hard as u can. strive for it. buckle up. just go try, n u won't lose anything pon. i'm goin to buy that pin number for u. u go study, n take the exam. u have less than one month. go study as hard as u can. no more procrastinate. okay?
FA : .....(meleleh leleh dh airmata, bercampur hingus2, dh xleh jwb dh...)
KZ : okay, i'll take ur silence as yes. tonite. go to sleep early. starting tomorrow, make schedule, go study. gtg. i have class. tc of urself. no more fear to something that is irrelevant. have some confidence in urself. pray that Allah will always make things easier for you. du'a for the best, n u'll get the best. okay?
FA : ...masih tidak bersuara..
KZ : okay, i need to grab lunch. talk to u later. assalamualaikum.
FA : waalaikumussalam...(dengan penuh rasa sebak...)

i never thought that KZ will grow mature this far. we've been close for 3 and half years, n i'm seeing him mature over there. xde mse dh nk pujuk2 sy mcm dlu. sgt tegas dgn keputusan die. maka sy harus menjadi tegas juga. sy tahu, mmg sy lemah, tp sy kn wanita..mmglah lemah..perlukn sokongan.

 *ini adlh KZ yg sgt serius skang..credit to Fara for this pics..:D*

maka, ats sebab KZ yg akn sponsor utk membeli pin number sy utk application ox n camb, maka sy harus study. sy harus belajar bersungguh2. i have less than one month to prepare everything, the proposal, the exam, n alhamdulillah, i have kakti that willingly to go thru this with me together. nk further sama2. n nk blaja sama2. so, we already make a great schedule, n ill b in study group everyday with kakti until 11 pm. n we're gonna make it, will pray for the best.

 

*ini KZ yg bajet superman, i think Azri make this. credit to him..:)..*

disebabkn KZ sgt suka superman..(which i don't understand y men like superman so much..), i nk tujukn lagu superman by Joe Brooks yg sgt cute utk KZ..

n jgn lupe, sapa2 yg free, boleh join contest nk dptkn ticket free g concert joe brooks kat sngapore. check it out kat flyfm, ngan jaydee..

k guys, i tahu bebel pnjg gile, sbb sy xtahu bile mase sy akn mmpunyai mse lg seperti ini..kerana sy akn start fokus utk stady..mungkin memeramkan dri dn hibernate dr blog selama sebulan...maka pnjg sketla bebelan ni..

nota kaki 1 : mekaseh ayh n ibu for the endless support. mostly mentally and spiritually.
nota kaki 2 : thanks skirties, clan, kakti n KZ for the incredible-awesomness friendship that help me to go thru this.
nota kaki 3 : Alhamdulillah ya Rabb for everything that You has planned for me. I'm grateful, n always be, forever and ever. make me redha for everything that You has planned for me, bcos i know, it's the best for me.


Finally, thanks readers, cos u were there to listen to my bebeling..i love u guys..
heart deep deep. <3